Monday, April 29, 2013

SOS from Meg's finals haze

Femme friends, if you're reading this then it means it's Monday morning, and if you're anything like me, you're reaching for your second (or third) cup of coffee.  I'm currently in the height of finals misery, which Ali alluded to in her hilarious guest post, so this update is pre-recorded and will conclude shortly, as Tylenol-pm delivers me into a deep sleep that will hopefully help me forget my terrible cold & the number of pages I have left to go.  I'm... fine.

But not as fine as I was recently when I wore these Madewell floral pants on a gorgeous sunny day.  This is only the second time I've managed to wear them since purchasing them for something insane like $17 in January (sale + clearance + student discount = Madewell magic!).

Ali bought me these glittery Target loafers around the holidays (I think this involved some sidelong glances and eyelash batting on my part), but they're absolutely perfect for spring's in between weather, and I think they're a great complement not only to my floral pants, but also the dumpsters and parking lot which could use some more sparkle.

Good luck to all of you academic femmes struggling through the final weeks of the semester-- summer will be here soon (but not nearly soon enough!).


Pants: Madewell
Loafers: Target
Top: Gap (thieved from Ali)
Purse: J. Crew

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Meg Wears Some Things: A Guest Post by Ali

I regret to inform you, dear readers, that Meg is too busy writing furiously about monks to fulfill her other obligations this week. Because she has an unspeakable number of pages to write, and because I have a healthy fear of overtasked academics, I offered to help her out with whatever I could, and was handed the heavy burden of this Femmepirical Evidence post.

If you're a regular reader, you may know me from such incidents as this drunk dancing gif or the great leather jacket thrift of 2013. Whether you're judging from these or from first-hand knowledge, you may also know that I have absolutely no business writing an entry in a fashion blog. My wardrobe -- sparse by Meg or Melina's standards --  is almost evenly divided between plaid shirts and shapeless black frocks, and approximately 98% of my favorite clothing items can be classified as "loungewear." Right now, for example, I am wearing a red and black striped sweatshirt and a pair of Meg's pajama shorts, which are flannel with ruffles and feature graphics of Vespas, postage stamps, and the Eiffel Tower. They also say "bonjour," "Paris!", and, inexplicably, "follow your heart!" in pink and black script all over them.

I do not give one fuck. 

Anyway, as I luxuriate in my resplendent ensemble, growing out a haircut that makes me look like Divine masquerading as the proprietor of a womyn's spiritual healing tent at Lilith Fair, I must yet again remind myself: this isn't about me. This is about Meg -- whose topknot is always on point, whose eyebrows are always immaculate, who looks great even now as she gazes at me over Monasteries of Western Europe with that gleam in her eye that says, "I'm contemplating murder-suicide." 

So, let's talk about what Meg wore to trot around campus when my parents visited last weekend. 

Here, Meg is wearing a shirt. It is my shirt, and it is pink. I like this shirt because it is soft, does not fit too close to my skin, and makes me feel vaguely like a young carefree schoolboy at an expensive New England preparatory academy instead of a surly gayelle in a button-down. Meg likes this shirt because she can wear it with these Keds:

"Are there CHAIRS on those Keds??" - you.
Damn right there are chairs on these Keds, son. Do you know who you're talking to? These were a recent purchase of Meg's, gleefully made on the Internet, which is a place where dreams come true.

Looking jaunty in a cathedral/library

It's like Dead Poets' Society up in this shit

In conclusion, PLOT TWIST: Here is a picture of baby Meg, sporting some black, shapeless loungewear. THOSE IN GLASS HOUSES... 

Shirt: Land's End Canvas, via my closet
Cardigan: Anthro
Jeans: J Brand
Shoes: Keds (on sale here now!)
Lipstick: MAC "silly"

Sun, sandals, scallion (cream cheese)

Last night was a late one because K.'s drag group had a show (it was awesome). He came down with some kind of awful cold on Friday morning, though, so making it through the evening was a little bit rough. On top of that, our space bear puppy Griffin was really sick yesterday afternoon, and I had to make my second emergency vet run of the week in between laundry & getting things ready for the show. All this to say that I was happy to let K. and Griff sleep in until the late, late, late afternoon today while they recovered and I tried to catch up with some work. When they finally woke up, it was clear K. was in no shape to make us our usual brunch fare, so we decided to take a walk, enjoy the beautiful weather, and get some delicious bagels slathered in scallion cream cheese—the clear cure of all ills.

In the interest of getting to bagel time faster, instead of showering, I simply sprayed a little dry shampoo (Not Your Mother's Clean Freak Refreshing Dry Shampoo) into the roots of my hair, skipped eye makeup, and went heavy on my new lip treat, this soft matte lip cream by Nyx. I know my hair might not look that incredible to you, but I want you to consider that this is very fine & impressionable hair that spent the better part of the previous evening stuck into a wig cap. When you take that into account, the sheer magic of dry shampoo becomes slightly more apparent.

I think my favorite part about this outfit is that I got to wear these new sandals that I scored on super sale from a few weeks ago with my favorite new nail polish color (Tillie's "Pool Boy"). Wearing open-toed shoes at long last reminds me that there are better, beautiful days ahead! Just a few more weeks of teaching to go...

Jacket & silk tank: thrifted
Jeans: bdg high rise cigarette (on sale for $19.99!)
Sandals: naturalizer via
Necklace: beacon's closet (not sure who made it!)
Bag: nine west via marshall's (2011)
Sunnies: le specs runway 
Lipcolor: nyx soft matte lip cream in "addis ababa"
Nail polish: tillie polish in "pool boy" (non toxic!)


Friday, April 26, 2013

Take chances! Make mistakes! Get messy! Femmespiration: Ms Frizzle

I was a dorky young thing with crushes on all my elementary school teachers, and hippie parents with a strong bent for educational TV programming, so the Magic School Bus and I go way back.  For those that don't know, the Magic School Bus is a series of children's books, and a TV series (the Friz is voiced by Lily Tomlin!) featuring an anthromoporphic shape-shifting  school bus, a third grade class, and their quirky science teacher, Ms Frizzle.

Ms Frizzle takes her third grade class places like the bottom of the ocean, through the lower intestine, across the universe, and what have you.  All the while, the bus is shrinking and expanding and getting fins and rockets and whatever accountrement necessary for the specific and wiley journey they're about to take. What was particularly remarkable was that wherever they were going and studying, Mrs Frizzle always had an outfit with telltale signs and well-matched accessories. In the TV show her earrings would FLASH right before the field trip.

 The older I got, the more I appreciated this epehemeral, idiosyncratic educator. She had these winks and coy references to the things her relatives would say hinted at a mysterious past, and she wore loud literal outfits. That was everything I wanted to be when I grew up - enthusiastic, eccentric, and worldly with a job in the helping professions and an esoteric wardrobe! Nowadays, I am a loudly dressed therapist.

And while I have always been into her style and appreciated how cute and practical it is,  I have innovated upon it to include shorter hems for greater ease in clambering over volcanic fields and across the asteroid belt.  My take on the Friz's style also includes more layering and more pockets, because my life lacks the climate-controlled environment that Scholastic books provides, and this femme needs to carry her keys sometimes.

In my Mrs Frizzle photoshoot, in lieu of really matchy literal accessories I went for an actual field trip, and first went to:
My neighborhood space travel supply store! (otherwise known as 826 Seattle)

dress: thrifted spring 2012
leggings: Domino Dollhouse
earrings: thrifted winter 2011
shoes: Keens
And then, I visited the flora and fauna to see the brontosauri. (Apparently brontosauri never really existed. With Pluto, they are another sad loss for the elementary school science curriculum, but they live on in our hearts!)
                                                  Looking uuuuuuup at the brontosaurus I am so small.

                                                   Look my skirt has dinosaurs on it can you see. Look, dinosaurs!
                                                            dinosaurs up close!

Skirt: Thrifted Winter 2012
tank top & leggings: Old Navy
cardigan: Land's End circa my girlfriend

Nerd bonus - I have recently been talking about Ms. Frizzle as femmespiration to my friends and the internet, and apparently out there in the densely populated genre of slash fiction, some folks have created a fictional pairing of Ms Frizzle and Mary Poppins. Because.... gay science fiction reinterpretations of children's fiction is what nerds do when they grow up.

Charming, no?

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Sheer dottiness

Both an accurate description of this outfit and my state of mind at this point in the semester. At least I'm facing slightly less formal lesson planning as I help my composition students work on their independent projects and prepare to start reviewing for the final with my literature students. But I'm fielding endless e-mails about assignments, trying to meet a few writing deadlines, and trying to carve out the time for Orals list-making. Despite the chaos, though, things are getting done. I'm particularly excited about a gothic themed composition course I'm planning for the fall and for the 18th-century women writers list I began generating in a meeting with one of my mentors last week. Excellent summer reading awaits me, friends.

The weather has been a little strange lately, and I've been trying to come up with outfits that contain an appropriate spring sensibility while still providing warmth. The wardrobe challenge has been compounded by the strangeness of suddenly beginning to shed layers in front of students. Am I totally alone in feeling this? In the fall, I began teaching with bare arms and legs because our buildings have no air conditioning & it was August—and of course, as the semester went on, I became increasingly more bundled up. However, now that this process is happening in reverse, I feel strangely self-conscious about losing tights and cardigans in front of my students; I can't seem to stop feeling like an element of strip tease is at play. At least it's cool enough for me to hang on to sweaters for a while longer.

Needless to say, this is an outfit that would not be teaching approved unless I wore a tank underneath, but since it's the weekend, I rocked the sheer look. I may need to adapt this ensemble for the next few weeks of school, though, since this dotted pencil skirt feels very "spring" while the heavy material lends it some added warmth.

Shirt: thrifted (fall 2011)
Pencil skirt: H&M (fall 2011)
Necklaces: anchor (uo), clock gears (gift from k.), loop (also gift from k., nina kuna)
Shoes: Volatile (via - spring 2012)
Bag: Marshall's (winter 2012)
Lipcolor: e.l.f. Mineral Mineral Lipstick in "Beautiful Berry"

Friday, April 19, 2013

Femmespiration Friday: Beth Fucking Ditto

I am pretty open about my laziness when it comes to music. I know what I like and I just don’t care enough to search for new artists. My brother, seeing such musical apathy when I was younger, set out to change the musical course of my pre-queer-realization adolescent life. I credit him for my love of certain fantastic artists such as the Strokes, Hidden Cameras, and, of course, the Gossip.

For those of you poor, poor souls who haven’t heard of the Gossip (they officially dropped the “the” from their name in 2003, but whaaatever), I give you this: 

Now that you’ve all sufficiently appreciated that bit of musical genius/orgasmic thrill-ride, I wanted to take a moment to thank Meg and Melina for letting me add to their amazing blog (legit, it’s the best) and post a bit about one of my favorite femme ladies, Beth Ditto! While I know my entry won’t come close to the Liza tribute penned magnificently by Samara, I hope I can do my #1 belting bodacious beauty a little justice. 

When I was a wee gayelle, I went to the 2007 True Colors Tour (with my then-girlfriend who wouldn’t hold hands with me in public even at the fucking True Colors Tour because she didn’t want anyone to know she was a lesbian but uh hello you’re at the True Colors Tour but whatever I guess that’s okay as long as you like me because we are like 17 and I will like put up with that shit BUT OKAY THAT’S NOT WHAT THIS STORY IS ABOUT) with the likes of Cyndi Lauper, Debbie Harry, Margaret Cho, Rufus Wainwright, and the Gossip. After their set, I wanted to go meet the band, and I stood in line patiently 20 minutes to meet Beth Ditto, the lead singer. When I got to the front of the line, she lit up and loudly greeted me with,


I immediately fell in love (promptly forgetting my then-girlfriend standing next to me). I couldn’t look away. She signed my ticket, gave me a big kiss on the cheek (both of us were covered in sweat—it was magical), and took a photo with me, probably still somewhere in the annals of Facebook.


Beth Ditto was the first fat person I met who loved her body without apologizing or justifying it to anyone else. Meeting her was my first taste of size acceptance. Like Samara and Liza, my physical similarities to Beth were undeniable, and I immediately felt a stronger connection to her spirit and style. 

Beth Ditto is the definition and accumulation of the three adjectives I love most in the English language:  
queer, fat, & femme

A plus-size lesbian from bum-fuck Arkansas, Beth Ditto has zero, even possibly negative fucks to give. She is fierce, powerful, and unapologetic—a necessity for fat girls who actually like their bodies. While performing, she rolls around on the stage without regard to what’s riding up or if her stomach is covered, drenched in sweat with her make-up running down her face. Her voice is soulful and limitless.

 Beth Ditto is undoubtedly and completely femme.

In my mind, there is no right or wrong way to do femme; it’s whatever makes you feel most beautiful and most badass. Beth typically rocks an edgier style, with her jet-black hair and on-point make up, studs and straps, masculine cuts and military-inspired garb. 

She wears too many accessories and clashing patterns and “night” make-up during the daytime. And who gives a flying fuck? She looks amazing.

She can also rock the bright colors, as seen at the 2008 Brit Awards, uninhibited by stupid society rules about the length of fat girl’s skirts or exposure of upper arms.  

Isn't she the cutest?!!

Also, this (omg this dress!):

 A true femme, her make-up and eyebrows are on-point even after being arrested for drunken conduct and screaming, “Obama!!” in the streets of Portland.

Key to a great mugshot: great cat eyes

Beth Ditto is undeterred by patriarchal and flat-out ridiculous societal notions of beauty and size-appropriate fashion; Beth Ditto is unafraid in her choices and others opinions of her; Beth Ditto is memorable and beautiful and intelligent and adorable and talented and not sorry for any of it. 

Beth Ditto is my ultimate femme inspiration.

xoxo Wilkz